Whether you’re thinking about getting a divorce, you’ve already begun the process or you’re well underway in your process of slitting with a marriage that doesn’t work for you, divorce might seem like a daunting endeavor when you get started. If you’re getting divorced, there are plenty of things you need to know before you get started. Even if divorces aren’t much fun, they’re an opportunity to grow in the direction you deserve and want for your life. Here are just a few things you should know before you get divorced.
1. Get Your Finances In Order
One of the very first things you need to do when you’re considering a divorce is getting your finances in order. Whether you share finances with your partner, you have your own savings or you’re starting nearly from scratch, a divorce will naturally involve covering more expenses than before — perhaps even doubling your bills. Start saving, get your own money and start laying out your new budget.
2. Build Credit In Your Own Name
Speaking of finances, splitting with your spouse means everything will be in your own name again, which means it’s time to build your own credit back up. Whether you share credit with your partner currently or you tend to rely on putting things in their name, it’s definitely time to put as many things as you can in your own name so that you can build credit before you strike out into the world alone.
3. The Kids Need To Be In The Loop
If you don’t have kids, this point won’t concern you. However, if you do have children, it’s important to communicate with them as honestly and appropriately as you can throughout the process. It probably isn’t productive or kind to blindside your children with big news like a divorce. Try sitting them down, talking with them and allowing them to ask questions so that they can process things in their own way.
4. The More You Have, The Longer It Can Take
You might have already seen this one coming, but it’s important to consider. Every divorce is unique, because every couple and every marriage is unique. This means that the assets and life circumstances you need to discuss will influence the amount of time it takes to get everything sorted. For example, those who share large amounts of assets or who have children together will likely take longer to sort through everything.
5. Find A Lawyer You Trust
Even if everything is civil with your current partner, it’s always important to feel comfortable with your legal representation. You need to know that the person who is representing you has your best interest at heart and is capable of fighting for what you need. Consult multiple lawyers if you have to, and that way you can find the right fit.
6. Your Problems Won’t All Disappear
On a bit more of a personal note, one of the things that can be important to remember while you were getting divorced is that even though it can feel extremely alleviating and self-actualizing to finally do what is right for you, your problems will not all disappear overnight simply by virtue of getting divorced. It’s a process and an internal journey. Even when the outcome is ultimately positive, it will likely take more than signing the papers in order for you to feel satisfied within.
7. But You’ll Likely Feel A Sense Of Freedom
However, even if you don’t feel that immediate sense of release from all of your problems being solved, there definitely is a sense of freedom that comes along with getting a divorce. Whether you were the person who initiated it or even your partner was the person who got the ball rolling, it can be extremely liberating to be free of a situation that wasn’t serving you.
8. Decide Whether To Stay Or Move Early
This is something usually best decided at the beginning of the process, but it is important to figure out where you were going to stay as the situation unravels. This can be an especially important distinction if you know that your divorce will take a while. Usually, the person that asks for the divorce is the person that moves out, however, there are plenty of other elements that could play into that decision — such as children or finances. Figure out what you want to do early on and stick to it.
9. Be Mature, Even If They’re Not
One of the most important things that you can do both for everybody around you and for yourself is to be as mature as possible throughout the process. You cannot control for other people’s behavior, but you can make sure that your own behavior makes you comfortable with the situation.
What You Need To Know About Divorce
Just like every marriage is different, every divorce will definitely have its own unique ups and downs. No matter what you decide in terms of legal representation, finances and living situations, the best thing that you can do for yourself is be true to yourself.