Home & FamilyParentingFive Things Your Kids Don't Want to Tell You

Five Things Your Kids Don’t Want to Tell You

Most parents like to think that they have a great relationship with their kids, and many of these parents are right. Even though you may have an open and honest relationship with your teenagers, there are still things that they don’t want to tell you. If you’ve got teens, knowing the things that you aren’t being told is half the battle.

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1.She’s Having Sex

No matter the relationship you have with your daughter, chances are that she doesn’t want to tell you that she’s having sex. According to a government survey, just over 50 percent of teenagers are engaging in some sort of sexual activity. The safest thing that you can do for your son or daughter is to assume that they are in the majority. If your son or daughter doesn’t want to talk to you about their sex life, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have the responsibility to give them information about STIs and unwanted pregnancy.

2.Be Quiet and Listen

Sometimes it’s not that your children don’t want to talk to you; it’s only that they don’t want the lecture that comes with the conversation. If you want your children to open up more, be prepared to keep your mouth closed. Like adults, sometimes kids just want someone to bounce ideas or thoughts off of without nagging and lecturing. Instead, ask your children open-ended questions, helping them sort out their feelings. Don’t offer to come to your child’s rescue, give a lecture on behavior or offer unwanted advice. Sometimes an ear is all your teen needs.

3.You Aren’t Fair

The next time your child tells you that you aren’t being fair; don’t tell him that life isn’t fair. Stop for a moment and think if he may be correct. This is particularly the case when it comes to multiple children. What’s good for one is good for all; assuming that you are treating them in an age-appropriate manner. For instance, if your five year old is swearing and you’re laughing, consider whether you would have thought it was funny years ago when your 10 year old was five. It’s typical for parents to lay off a bit when it comes to kids number two, three and four. Remember, though, that kid number one is watching.

4.She Wants You There

If your child is involved in sports or other extra-curricular activities do your best to attend events when you can. Your teenager understands that you need to work, but there are days when she wants to come first. Whether she’s involved in volleyball or theater, show your support. Even if your daughter doesn’t ask you for it, knowing that you’re cheering her on will make a world of difference.

5.You’re a Snoop

Kids need privacy, especially teenagers. Don’t assume that a desire for privacy means that your child is hiding something; it’s simply a process of growing up. Unless you have reason to suspect that your child is involved in risky or dangerous behaviors, give them some space. Trust is a two-way street. Just as you want to be able to trust your teen, she wants to be able to trust you. If you suspect something is going on, don’t snoop, ask.

If you want to have a great relationship with your teenagers, you’ve got to be aware of the things that they aren’t telling you. Helping keep your children safe and sound requires a bit of psychic ability, especially when you’re dealing with teenagers. Consult this list the next time you’re wondering if your teen is holding something back.

Author Karen Alton is an author and mother of two teenagers. If you believe your teenager is sexually active take them to one of the herpes test centers to check their health status. The testing centers also have information on STDs to educate teenagers on the dangers and preventions of getting infected.

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