You are guilty of seeing your kid and not hearing him.
Many nights, you go to bed feeling guilty about not fulfilling promises, about not understanding what your child wanted, or not being able to keep your calm when your child lost their.
‘How you could be such oblivious to your child needs?’ you ask yourself.
‘And how, exactly how, you could allow yourself to go against the best interests of your child even when you know what is right?’
When I used to ask myself these questions, I knew the answer. I was failing my child because I was trying to pass all roles in my life. Only because I was carrying too much load on my shoulders at a time.
You must be a father or mother. You are an executive. You are a partner. And you are you. You have so many circles of your life to balance, and you feel the pressure of being your best ad doing your best in every one of them.
But this pressure doesn’t allow you to ignore any circle of your life. How could you deal?
Use 100% rule. But what this 100% rule is? This rule implies that you give your best and honest effort, in other words, 100% effort, to the task you are handling right now.
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‘Yeah! It appears easy in theory. Tell me how can I eventually apply it. I have tried my best to be best, give best and get best, but, sorry to break it to you, it just doesn’t work.’
These were my words when, after trying to implement this strategy for months, I failed.
The rule didn’t work. It was rubbish until I found out the right way to implement it. To be concise, this rule cannot and will not function in isolation. It needs its predecessors, fellows and successors to show results.
Ask yourself following questions:
What kind of balance you need to achieve?
What is your idea of having it all in life?
What circles of your life do you value most?
Which part of every circle is its essence?
Considering these questions, enlist activities you want to do on daily, weekly, monthly basis. Allow your brain to come up with as many activities as you want.
Now you have taken all aspects of your life into account, think of the most important ones. Select up to five main groups of activities from every circle of life. For this purpose, having fun with kids make one group, focusing on their studies is other, and socializing with them is still other.
Out of these selected five activity groups, select up to three when you can pool efforts, (e.g. in parenting tasks) and only one when you are not sharing responsibility with anyone else. You may leave work-circle out of this whole exercise.
Reduce the overheads:
Eliminate time-eating value-less activities from each group. Extended and frequent movie time as a fun activity is an example.
And merge overlapping activities into one group. Fun can accompany socialization activities. Sometimes, studies can have a fun element, if applied correctly.
Commit to attend the activities you have opted for wholeheartedly. Now you have analyzed your routine and kept it as simple and smooth as possible. Thus, you are left with no possible excuse to let the matter dwindle.
Once you have made the mental note to pay your honest efforts to these activities, make a to-do list and forget about any business you are obligated to carry out except the one you are busy with.
Whenever, the idea of attending other task pops up in your mind, remind yourself that the only important task is to be 100% with whatever you are doing with now. It will be difficult at first to clear your thoughts, but you will get better with time and practice.
Enter every role of your life with full attention. When you are entering your work-place, remind yourself that you will commit your best efforts to your work. Take some seconds to inhale the environment and tell your mind and body to focus on the present moment.
You have to switch your mind into the situation every time your thoughts drift away to another life circle. Give some time to switching your mind every time you need it.
Again, the task appears daunting at first, but commitment and practice will ease it.
Although a sense of responsibility should always come from within, you can establish it internally by seeking external help at first. Ask your colleague, partner, and family to gently remind you about your pledge to follow 100% rule whenever you express any deviation.
You have fulfilled your rules for the past hour or day. Now you need to revitalize your energies. Breathe deeply and smile. It’s your time.
Let go of physical tension an mental bias you gain every day from living your demanding life. Re-Connect with your soul and recreate the essence of rule you have set for your life.
You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on giving you treats. All you need is a compliment in your journal about how satisfied you feel with yourself today and a talk in the mirror telling the recipient of the talk how proud you feel of him.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new challenge, and a new adventure. Get ready.
What Do You Think
It is not easy for people to conquer their own hearts, minds, and bodies. Few people appreciate that they can assert control over themselves.
Can you exercise this control? If yes, what are you making out of this power? If no, what is preventing you from exerting this power?