Divorce with Children
Going through a divorce is never an easy decision, but sometimes it’s a necessity to save a relationship. If you have children, divorce is even harder, as neither of you want to upset your children or make a decision that means you have to give up time with them. However, going through a nasty divorce when you have children can be worse, even if you’re fighting for what you want. Instead of making decisions you feel are right, here are four things to consider when going through a divorce with children.
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1. Pick the Right Lawyer
If you’re using a lawyer for your divorce, be sure to pick one with experience in family law. These individuals have likely seen it all, and they know how to help you make decisions that are good for you and your children. In addition, most good and experienced family lawyers can help you see the big picture instead of focusing on your emotions during the divorce, and this is something that will truly help you and your children cope with the divorce.
2. Try Mediation
If you and your ex have a decent relationship, you may want to consider going through mediation instead of going through an actual divorce. Mediators typically cost significantly less, and they help ensure both parties get equal shares in the divorce, including assets as well as time with children. If mediation doesn’t seem to be working, it may make sense to then move on to a family law attorney. Talk to a mediator in your area to see if this is the right choice for you to make.
3. Think About the Children
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If your divorce is spurred by an emotional event, such as cheating, it could make you want to hurt the other party; however, it’s important to put your personal feelings aside and think about your children. Maybe you want to fight for sole custody, but if your ex is a good parent, doing this can do more harm to your child and isn’t worth doing just to get back at your ex. Be sure that both you and your ex are making decisions that have your children’s best interests in mind, including how much time they get with each parent or how to disrupt their lives less.
4. Talk with Your Children
The most important thing for you to do during a divorce is to talk with your children. They are going to be confused and upset, especially if they’re older, so talking openly and honestly with them is ideal. It’s also important that you make sure not to say anything negative about the other person in front of them. After all, that other individual is their parent, and it’s not fair to put your child in the middle of your divorce or try to get them to pick sides. Should your child be taking the divorce really hard, talk to a child therapist and get your child the help he or she needs. Remember putting them first is your ultimate priority as you go through the divorce.
Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. When considering this information, you can rest assured you can help streamline your divorce and make it less invasive on you and your children.