If you are a mom then chances are you have experienced sleep-deprivation. After tending to your babies throughout the night, you force your bone-weary body out of bed to perform the various roles you play throughout the day: mother, wife, employee, domestic goddess. The fact that you get through the day in one piece is nothing short of a miracle. In your tired state, you have surely had several oops moments you would rather not admit to. Here are 50 bizarre behaviors of sleep-deprived moms:
- Pour breast milk or formula into your coffee mug instead of creamer.
- Jump out of the way whenever someone tries to include you in a picture.
- Wear yesterday’s make-up.
- Borrow diapers, wipes, and kid clothes from friends, neighbors, strangers, and lost-and-found.
- Throw hair in a wet bun instead of brushing it after showering.
- Drop your kids off at the gym daycare and then take a nap in the car.
- Instantly befriend other tired-looking moms and bond over your lack of sleep.
- Get lost on your way home, even though you have driven this same road a thousand times.
- Use your car as a trash bin and/or a storage unit for everything kid related.
- Skip shaving all together, except for date night (and sometimes even then).
- Use television as a babysitter.
- Eat dinner for breakfast (cold pizza) and breakfast for dinner (cereal).
- Skip showers and just put on more deodorant.
- Doze off in inappropriate places or in awkward positions.
- Drink more than 3 cups of coffee before noon. (Admit it. Your Starbuck’s barista has your coffee order memorized.)
- Throw away kids’ clothes when the poop stains are too intense to deal with.
- Sit on the toilet far longer than necessary to get some alone time.
- Chew gum instead of brushing your teeth.
- Accidentally lock keys and/or kids in the car.
- Skip walking the dog again.
- Avoid the mailbox: if you don’t see bills then they don’t exist and you don’t have to deal with them.
- Forget to get mail for so many days that it’s returned to the post office.
- Forget what day of the week it is.
- Envy everyone who looks well rested.
- Worship anyone willing to come over and watch your children while you rest.
- Play your children’s music in the car when they are not in the car.
- Use your significant other’s toothbrush because you can’t find yours.
- Re-read the same page of your book over and over again and then give up reading.
- Leave groceries and/or baby bottles in the car and forget about them until your car starts to smell.
- Start drinking alcohol at 4PM because you need to survive the next few hours before your kids go to sleep.
- Spend the whole day looking forward to your kids’ naps and bedtimes.
- Make personal doctor’s appointments and then forget to show up.
- Celebrate whenever someone cancels plans with you because it means you get to stay home and do nothing.
- Go to the grocery store and forget everything you need.
- Buy everything online. (On behalf of tired mothers everywhere, thank you, Amazon Prime!)
- Tell yourself that “Someday I will sleep again,” “Tomorrow I will leave the house,” or “Tomorrow I will exercise.”
- Dye your hair a darker color, so you don’t have to keep up with highlights or other hair treatments.
- Forget if you fed your cat/dog/fish and so feed them twice.
- Forget if you shut your garage or if you turned off your iron, curling iron, oven, or stove and have to turn the car around.
- Wear yoga pants every day and occasionally put them on inside out.
- Put lotion, hand soap, or hemorrhoid cream on your toothbrush.
- Leave laundry in the washing machine until it smells and then wash it again.
- Bump into every surface of your house and have at least 10 unexplained bruises.
- Melt down in inappropriate places and in front of anyone lucky enough to see you that day—neighbors, pediatrician, UPS drivers, among others.
- Crash your car into the garage door or have other fender benders often.
- Buy paper plates and cups so you don’t have to deal with dishes.
- Laugh uncontrollably at things that just aren’t funny and find yourself wondering if you are losing your mind.
- Have every intention of making a delicious meal, buy the ingredients, and then watch them expire in your refrigerator.
- Wish that for just one day your partner could breastfeed your child.
- Remember the days when you had your act together and wonder if they will ever return.
If any of the above behaviors applies to you, you are a sleep-deprived mom. Welcome to the club! Membership is free and will last for the next 18 years.
About the author
My name is Lauren Lodder, and I live in The Woodlands, Texas with my husband and two young daughters.
Before becoming a stay-at-home mom and a freelance writer, I was an English professor in California.
There is nothing I love more than reflecting on and writing about my parenting experiences–since I am continuously evolving my views.
Motherhood rocks and it is the flipping hardest job ever!